Why do I IM so much?

Why do I IM to communicate?

There are several advantages of doing that. For me it’s because IM is easier for me to say everything that I have on my mind. And that I will not be distracted by the other party from saying everything that I want to say. And while I infer emotions very well from just pure digital text on a computer screen, many others don’t. Maybe that is why I tend to quarrel with others a lot easier online than in person.

I have a bad temper. And that temper shows up a lot more frequently on my digital texts. My emails, my SMSes, my IM conversations. Anything that ticks me off gets shit from me. Big shit.

In recent years I have taken to do all my serious conversations online rather than by emails, SMSes, or calling. Emails and SMSes does not provide the immediate response that I need from all my serious conversations. Calling does not work because I no longer feel confortable calling people – my last gf insisted that I IM her instead of calling her simply because she was afraid that her family will find out about our relationship. Somehow that made a lasting impression on me. The refusal to take my calls eventually ended the relationship, but somehow I got stuck with using IM instead of calling people.

Then again maybe it is just my unwillingness to be prepared for a vocal conversation, especially if it is with people that I give a damn about. Maybe I am just a coward who hides behind the chat window of Adium. Maybe this. Maybe that.

All I know is that I no longer call anyone for casual chatting, or for any important conversations. Not anymore.

Is this bad? Maybe.

But I doubt this will change anytime soon so I might just as well stick to it.

As I look at my income tax returns form that was mailed to me today, I feel like burning it up. It’s the fourth day since the escape of Mas Selamat, and there has been absolutely no progress in the search.

And Wong Kan Seng dares to stay on as Minister? What kind of excuse is “he went to the toilet and escaped”?

The Singapore government has always given the Singapore public and other countries the impression that Singapore is a very safe country, and that the government is both very efficient in governing the land and the security of this country.

Is that really so? Think again.

The PAP government, over the past two decades or so, has really only been interested in doing one thing – how to squeeze more money out of Singaporeans.

After all, they were the ones (in actual fact, it’s really just one man, not the whole team) who built the present Singapore, who are responsible for the “good life” that Singaporeans enjoy. So ever since they have virtually eliminated the opposition parties in Singapore in the early nineties, they really have only one thing left to do – to milk the cow for all its worth.

I don’t have to show you any examples of the “milking”. Anyone who is a Singaporean knows perfectly the REAL REASONS behind the introduction of the ERP, the increase in GST from 5% to 7%, the changing of the CPF withdrawal age from 55 to 80, the numerous fines in Singapore, etc.

When is a government not corrupt?

1. When all of its members are involved in the money grab.

2. When corruption/abusing of authority is allowed by law in order for the money grab to happen.

3. When all major media are totally controlled and all opposition silenced by law.

Sounds like the Singapore government to me.

Why do you want to pay taxes to such a government?

Maybe it’s time you show your anger and frustrations.

Finally found, encoded and uploaded this 2-year-old performance of Luna Sea’s gravity by Hakuryusei. Looking back at the video made me super embarassed about the fact that I couldn’t control my voice well enough for the whole song. This performance came like 20 mins after my Dir en grey song, which took most of my life out of me that night. Still, I will want to be able to perform like that in a band again.

Gravity Unleashed 2008? Hehz.

The number 1 Jemaah Islamiyah terrorist in Singapore, JI Singapore head Mas Selamat Kastari had escaped from his detention centre in Whitley, Singapore, this afternoon around 4pm. When you consider the fact that the guy is walking around with a limp, makes you wonder how he managed to escape.

Could this be an inside job?

I think the authorities have to seriously look into the security (or lack of) in this country where all its people are being led to believe that we have an extremely secured prison/detention system.

Apparently the majority of Singaporeans have yet to hear about it, mainly because it is not being reported on the major news programs. Playing down this incident is just another perfect example of how things are done in this country.

Hell. Where is my Gravity video! Argh! Damn it. Guess I’ll have to settle for the DEG one. Not exactly my favorite performance. Did get third placing overall though.

P.S. I didn’t do the editing. BTW, doesn’t the new simple player for viddler rock?

I have always thought of myself not as a single entity, but multiple persons stuck in a single physical body. It’s really inconvienient during the times when I have to argue with someone, or when I need someone to talk to, or simply when I need explanations for the times when “I’m not being myself”.

Truth is, i still wonder how many people know who Ryu really is.

Right now, the number of personalities within myself is four.
1. Ryu

I have to confess, Ryu isn’t the real me. I call Ryu Ryu only because he is what I am when I am alone, when I am not being bothered by anything else. He is something what I will call my neutral state. That said, he is not the real Ryu simply because the amount of time I spend in this personality is really way too little. He is not my favorite personality either. There is just no way in hell I can be in a neutral state for long. I’ll go crazy.

2. 織田信長

I guess all my friends know who he is. Everyone tends to think that the reason for my continual professing that I am Nobunaga is just pure admiration or a secret desire to be like the number 1 warlord in Japanese history. That is not exactly true. The main reason why I tell people that I am Nobunaga, is simply because I am “Nobunaga” most of the time. Oda Nobunaga also happens to be my favorite personality.

Nobunaga is a weird fellow. He is driven by strong emotions (mostly negative ones), and has a extremely bad temper. He is irked/irritated by the smallest of things and kicks a very big fuss about it. He destroys and kills everyone and everything that either irritates him or stands in his way. He is fearsome and appears scary to most others except to the few who really knows him. That said, though, he is definitely not the most evil of my personalities. He is passionate, stubborn, and goes all out to get what he wants. He’ll be my perfect guy if I was female. Hehz.

However, Nobunaga is probably the main reason why I cannot have a relationship. The stronger the emotional attachment Nobunaga has to someone else, the more easily irritated he is of small little things which the other person does unintentionally. When that happens he tends to blow up. Big time. And for him the simplest way out is to kill the emotional ties by hook or by crook, although usually it is by hatred. He is always extremely distrustful of others, and relies heavily on his own instincts and first impressions about people. He does not forgive and forget any betrayals.

Having Nobunaga as a personality can be really harmful to my body. Especially during the times when he’s trying to kill off emotional ties with others. Chest pains are frequent.

3. 徳川家康

The most evil of my personalities. Schemes against others easily, even though they may not have offended him in any way or another. Another fearsome character after Nobunaga. Ieyasu is fearsome in his own ways. He is also probably the least favorite of my personalities. Only rarely does he control myself.

4. XXXXX XXXX

Secret character, tends to dominate the body these days. All I can say that is this guy is scary as well. Not in a fearsome way, but in how I see that he will be dominating for many years to come.

Went for my first jog ever since I bought my car about 8 months ago. My fucked-up knee crapped out 25mins into the run, so I stopped. Was a great feeling though. Seems that running does get my mind off the irritating stuff…… during the run itself at least.

People who frequently read/RSS this blog should have noticed one thing about my posts – I don’t really like posting about things that happened in my life in a diary entry style.

When blogging really took off you get a lot of youngsters (mostly females) writing their blogs as if they are writing their diaries, but unlike diaries blogs are public and available for anyone to view (unless you lock your posts). So sometimes I wonder what these girls are really thinking when they are posting stuff like “Wahhhh today hor I went out with Ken leh~ Ken is sooooo yandao! I know Ken is also dating Lina but I don’t care coz I really love Ken!!~ Besides that stupid Lina is soooo ugly. Lina my best fren so what? I don’t care. I want Ken!!~”. Are they declaring war openly online? Or is making your feelings heard over the internet just part of the change in societal behavior these days?

Some of them argues, “Well I write blog coz I want to let my friends see mah.” An acceptable argument, I agree. But if these are really your friends, won’t they already know about your recent up-tos, either via SMS, phone calls or IM? And if these friends are important enough to contact you regularly or have you contact them regularly, what makes you so sure that they will be interested to be fed information about your daily life via your blog?

From what I see, most blog-writing these days are nothing more than public expressions of the self-centeredness of these people. Unlike the days before the internet where normal human beings without control of satellite dishes and broadcasting stations are unable to publish details about their own lives, with the internet, now they can. They probably have always wanted to do this, and the internet is empowering their suppressed desires to publish, to make themselves known to the world.

So why do you blog?

Was going through a rough patch last week. Am finally okay now I guess.

What is wrong with Samsung?

Have you ever seen another other harddisk manufacturers tell you “I’ll do a one-to-one exchange for you, but you have to wait 2 weeks”? If it’s a one-to-one exchange (as all harddisk problems are), why the fuck does Samsung have to let you wait until your arse hurts and spend a lot of time and money trying to go to the ulu West just to collect your harddisk which in the first place is a piece of junk that comes from a crappy Korean company that now has even worse customer service?

Fuck you Samsung. This is the first and last time I’m buying any HDDs from you. Crap arse. What other brands of HDD (cept Seagate of course) dies in less than a year? Crap arse. Fuck you Samsung. Fuck you Korean cheapshits.