I am lazy. Lazy to blog. Lazy to file my taxes. Even lazy enough to skip meals these days.

Laziness usually cause me to become desperate, cause me to do things at the very last minute. Like filing my taxes. I had to wait until the very last day to file my taxes. I am just hoping that the system does not go down immediately at 6am when it opens. After all, at least 1/3 of the local population file their taxes on the very last day. I wonder what are the penalties for late filing.

I am also way to lazy to blog these days. Never had a day passed without new ideas for a blog post, yet I just cannot discipline myself to put those ideas down into typed words. This form of laziness will make or break my latest attempt into starting a new business, and while I certainly hope it does not break my attempt, I still cannot seem to get up to speed on my current project.

I always tend to attribute my laziness to my horoscope, Sagittarius, since laziness is a strong character trait of a Sagittarius. Obviously I am just too lazy to even admit that the sole problem lies with myself. I really need someone or something to push me from behind, to give me deadlines, so that I will feel the urgency strong enough to push myself into working.

I have been lazy all my life. I was lazy in primary school, lazy in secondary school, and lazy in junior college. I did not like studying for my exams (note that I specifically mentioned studying for exams, and not just studying on the whole), and eventually developed a very bad habit of studying for my exams just days before the actual exams, a perfect example being the A Levels. Had O, F, F, for the prelims, and with only a week to go, for the very first time in my life, I actually found out the boundaries of the syllabus for the A Levels (I went through 2 years of Junior College without ever bothering to find out what I was supposed to be tested on). The miracle one-week-last-minute-power-study-sessions worked, and I ended up with a decent B, B, B for the actual exams. Woohooo~ Not to mention the frequent last day studying for most of my modules in NUS. And scoring very very decent scores (A, A-) for those modules too.

Which brings me back to my main point. Laziness for me, I feel, is both a powerful weapon and a destructive force for my work. I can be lazy and complacent, but when the going gets tough, the lack of time and the high levels of urgency can force me to give my best. However, and this is a very very big however, I have to be in a situation where I am pressed for time, when the urgency levels are high, for me to shine through with my last minute work. And a sense of urgency is exactly what you do not have the privilege of enjoying once you are freed from the system known as “University Education” and free from supervisor through freelancer and having your own business/work.

How can I solve this problem? This lack of urgency?

Sometimes I look at myself and wonder what the heck I am doing with my life. I originally envisioned myself to be working for Apple Singapore, toiling away doing marketing/sales work while earning a pathetic pay. That has changed due to my various interactions with Apple SG staff, and eventually finding out how not-so-ideal a workplace Apple Singapore might be after all (@wanidakok, if you want to refute this, please go ahead! I am really still open to the idea of working for Apple. Not sure if they want me though). I try to force myself to get out of my room, get out of my house, to try and get some work done outside. But working out means you have to spend money on parking/transport, on food and the such. And that sucks. Furthermore, due to a recent small disruption I am having in my life, my biological clock is turned upside down. Now I sleep in the day and become alive at night. Which in all makes the problem a harder one, since I love to slack and relax at night. If only there is someone who will force me to start working, to give me the sense of urgency that I sorely missed……

Anyone has any great suggestions?