Why do I IM so much?

Why do I IM to communicate?

There are several advantages of doing that. For me it’s because IM is easier for me to say everything that I have on my mind. And that I will not be distracted by the other party from saying everything that I want to say. And while I infer emotions very well from just pure digital text on a computer screen, many others don’t. Maybe that is why I tend to quarrel with others a lot easier online than in person.

I have a bad temper. And that temper shows up a lot more frequently on my digital texts. My emails, my SMSes, my IM conversations. Anything that ticks me off gets shit from me. Big shit.

In recent years I have taken to do all my serious conversations online rather than by emails, SMSes, or calling. Emails and SMSes does not provide the immediate response that I need from all my serious conversations. Calling does not work because I no longer feel confortable calling people - my last gf insisted that I IM her instead of calling her simply because she was afraid that her family will find out about our relationship. Somehow that made a lasting impression on me. The refusal to take my calls eventually ended the relationship, but somehow I got stuck with using IM instead of calling people.

Then again maybe it is just my unwillingness to be prepared for a vocal conversation, especially if it is with people that I give a damn about. Maybe I am just a coward who hides behind the chat window of Adium. Maybe this. Maybe that.

All I know is that I no longer call anyone for casual chatting, or for any important conversations. Not anymore.

Is this bad? Maybe.

But I doubt this will change anytime soon so I might just as well stick to it.